See some funny examples... Find common phrases containing a word! Every day it’s Dublin. Technically, grape juice is not wine... yet. A tire, I was going to make a chemistry joke, but since I'm kinda late to the thread, the good ones argon, FUN FACT: cats are made of iron, lithium, and neon. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Bought a tyre for my car last year for £120. Be the wittiest tweeter, texter, and writer wherever you go! They're always jumping for joy and never hopping mad! We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. Yes, I have my period, and no, I’m not ovary acting. A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback. I enjoy every minute of it, I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: “That’s the last thing I need!”, Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed. I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. Think again. But her aim is starting to improve, What are the strongest days of the week? Be no giving birth to a copper then , a real pig sty. From Russia With Love Puns, Quotes, and One-Liners Tatiana Romanova: I think my mouth is too big James Bond: No, it’s the right size … for me, that is . Share Tweet. I left by bike beside a wall the other day, and it fell over. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. I lost my case. Loser-esque yet hilarious, unbearably foolish yet clever at the same time - puns will never get boring, even if they'd be the last jokes left on Earth. What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. Count quackula, Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest, I'm on a seafood diet. FeLiNe, What do you call an alligator in a vest? A mean crook going down stairs = A condescending con, descending, I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind, There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. German children are always kinder. Learn more here. We hope. No Puns, Quotes, and One-Liners Honey Ryder: Are you looking for shells? Microwaves, How does an attorney sleep? 65 Puns So Bad They're Actually Funny. นายศุภกฤต สวรรค์คณากร (ปั้น) ผู้ลงสมัครประธานคณะสีเอราวัณ เบอร์๑ Akvile is a list curator at Bored Panda. Our hand-picked list of hilarious jokes is guaranteed to make anyone laugh. Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? By Katie Bowlby. Some people might consider them lame; others just don't get them at all. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. The man said "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe. Note: this post originally had 218 images. Because they have two left feet! They are funny. . You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. I tried to find 10 more really good puns that made me laugh, but no pun in 10 did. I said “don’t worry, no pressure”. Zero-One (Zero and One) means the series has been aired on the first era of Reiwa. The number one source for your puns. Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays, Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other "how do you drive this thing?". I wrote earlier in the week about attending the Mobile World Congress this week in Barcelona, where the new Samsung Galaxy S6 was launched, so what better a topic for this week’s one liners and puns than phone jokes. Please check link and try again. But we think that a good pun is always worth a good laugh. Open side menu button. You boil the hell out of it, I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing.”, When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic, Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. No pun intended is most often used, ironically enough, to call attention to a pun one has made. Nothing, it just waved. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. Or maybe it all started in the Middle Ages when, by a long shot, the Trebuchet was the most powerful weapon? Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. "I've go the body of a 16 year old. The news has been filled with stress and sadness, and we're all missing our friends and family after months (and months!) Related Topics. Pun Generator Popular; Generate puns containing a word! By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. No comet. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. That’s inflation for you. Skip to content. Why aren’t dogs good dancers? No, it's bear tracks. Number cruncher: on Number cruncher, but our sister project Wiktionary does: Read the Wiktionary entry on number cruncher You can also: Search for Number cruncher in Wikipedia ...; Number Cruncher Politics: Number Cruncher Politics is a political analysis and polling consultancy and blog site launched in 2014. October 15, 2020 by Elise Xavier | Updated: October 15, 2020 - Leave a Comment. The only difference between my list and your father’s is, these are actually hilarious. that means a lot. Pun Lovin' is a reader-supported site. Well, if you're not a doctor, that's probably why. He leaves podium as she says gratefully, "thank you. Because seven ate nine, What do you call a man with no arms and no legs stuffed in your mailbox? 159 talking about this. The Best Funny Puns. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Dec 29, 2020 This year has been tough. Often these puns are deliberate, corny, but too wonderfully dad joke-y to resist … and other times the puns are inadvertent but realized in the moment, too droll or … Frank was was fed up with Tom’s smart comments. 093 can be read as "o-ku-san" (奥さん), meaning "wife". Ahhhh, What do you call the ghost of a chicken? Pun Lovin' Too Many Puns... Said No One Ever. But it was just a Fanta sea, Will glass coffins be a success? Everyone loves a great pun. What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? "and I burst into tears. Share Tweet. The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. 1,949 likes. Puns and one-liners to make the whole family laugh. News; Health ; Smarter Living; Culture ; Relationships ; Travel ; Style ; Coronavirus; Get the newsletter Culture. 50 Genuinely Funny Jokes to make you laugh Last Updated: 8th July 2020. All rated by visitors and sorted from the best. A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. So scroll down below, vote for the funniest, and let us know what you think! Skip to content. They eat whatever bugs them. One can only imagine where the roots of puns are hidden. First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. SUPPLIES! A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over, I guess they appreciate the gravity of the situation (not), It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally, Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. Obsessed with travel? I know you can: If you only take your ice cream in organic cones: When you've lost Access to Microsoft Office, go Outlooking: It's hard to get any work done with these two hanging around: If you're sick of Bill Posters always hanging around your place: I'm sensing a strong future for this florist: According to Wikipedia, this debate is really heating up: If you've got enough Monet to buy Degas to make this Van Gogh: In France, this is called a "Royale with cheese": When someone tells you there's a massive leak in your fridge: Need more LOL in your life? I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. I’m not really a mourning person. A cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils, She had a photographic memory but never developed it, When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue. It’s fucking intense (in-tents). It’s been shortened to the top 80 images based on user votes. I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel. A sunken chest and no … Please enter your email to complete registration. Page 2. I could table a meeting with the chair of their sideboard. Rome wasn't split into two? The pun is intended. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes [also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes] No Pun Included. I phoned OK magazine the other day. BuzzFeed Staff. Don’t worry, though - he woke up. Now, I never would have thought there are great jokes in the electrical field. It left a hole but they're looking into it. Absolutely hillarious puns! Ever had sex while camping? With a pair of Ceasars. Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter! Man asks widow if he can say a word at the funeral. My brother said carrots, cauliflower, and celery are c food too. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! ", Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? The bartender says "Hey..what's that lyin' there." That’s ridiculous. To say hello from the other side. 2. I’m on a c food diet; candy, cookies, and cake. I think I saw this on a Reddit thread or something. Tequila mockingbird. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? As kids (no pun intended), we were probably most familiar with goats in terms of the concept that they liked to headbutt people with their horns. It doesn’t make any cents, What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Some days are admittedly easier to find the humor in than others. Smile wide with these cute jokes and puns. 55 Dumb Puns That Are So Stupid They Are Actually Funny By January Nelson Updated October 4, 2018. What did one flag say to the other? Sign up for the BuzzFeed Today newsletter and we'll send you our hottest posts every morning. No matter what culture you’re part of or country you’re in, it seems everyone has silly puns to share. A maybe, England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. Here I have the best and newest in a long line of great and funny tree jokes. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Somebody stole all my lamps… I couldn’t be more de-lighted! A list of 1 Number Cruncher puns! I'm a proud member of PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals! What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare? The cops have nothing to go on. A list of 1 Number 26 puns! Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. He was a good man, a brave man. Bob. Read Pun Number One from the story Puntopia by -pxdma (Lav) with 119 reads. A friend was struggling with a flat tyre. Whether at work, at home, or anywhere else, laughter keeps the day bright. It's intense tense in tents. Everyone loves witty jokes. 2 groups of people you can’t trust are lawyers, judges and politicians. 288 talking about this. Let me tell you about my grandfather. She's ingenious in finding the best pictures of funny and adorable animals, though she especially loves supplying readers with tattoo designs. Share your favorite puns with your friends and submit your own pun jokes. Why did Adele cross the road? So be sure to check them out and get right to the root of the jokes! You can change your preferences. I absolutely love reptiles. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak, I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Submit a Pun; Home. Best feeling at the end of the day is taking the bra off. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Was it The First Humans who mistakenly called the Saber-Toothed tiger a Lightsaber-Toothed tiger? Every time I see food, I eat it. Ooops! It is used occasionally in phone numbers for women or other items used by ladies. .4 can be read as "ten-shi" meaning angel. I got a new thesaurus not only is it bad, it’s bad. I tried to find 10 more really good puns that made me laugh, but no pun in 10 did. The rhetorical term for punning is paronomasia, which literally means "to call a different name." I don't know and don't really care, My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”. What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? We also genuinely have a place called Cockermouth in Cumbria. Having sex in elevators is amazing on so many levels. I understand the joke, but can’t see the pun. Never thought a pun could be cute? You planet. You’re not alone, and these 21 dirty puns are exactly what you came for. Read Number 4 from the story Puns by absurdambitions (Jay) with 3,668 reads. I'd attend a funeral that early over my dead body! This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tyre Jokes. James Bond: I think they were on their way to a funeral . I'm not a doctor but I'm losing my patience. PUN Erawan NO.1. He had the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo, That's like Larry the Cableguy's joke. ", How was Rome split in two? A poultry-geist, Whaddya call a vampire duck? What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? There are Skid marks in front of the dear!. Dumb puns are the best puns. Well, for the most part. 2 blondes were walking in the woods when they came across some tracks. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Well, the flag is a big plus. by Tanner Greenring. Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. Funny Lizard Puns & Jokes Iguana Laugh at Over & Over! Its the best I got. Do not be alarmed though. 101 Best Bad Funny Puns. Come on, dole them out, we'd all benefit. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? I lost my mood ring, and I don't know how I'm feeling about that, Guy walks into a bar and lays a dead giraffe on the floor. Somebody stole all the toilets from the police station. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! ", Please forgive my corny puns. Weird Al used this in his movie "UHF"... and the janitorial staff was oriental. An investigator, The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize, The other day I tried to make a chemistry joke, but got no reaction, That was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one, I don't suffer from insanity. What would you get if you'd put a lawyer in a suit? When you buy through links on this site, I may earn an affiliate commission. Don’t be too shocked though, like with most ring tones, at a lack of originality or humour. There are no answers … All I did was take a day off, Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? But all I wanted was one night stand. It really made waves when I came home with it! Practicing without a licence is ill-legal. We respect your privacy. Our collection of funny puns give everyone all the feels. Was it The First Humans who mistakenly called the Saber-Toothed tiger a Lightsaber-Toothed tiger? All of us have had to adjust to a brand-new way of life full of Zoom meetings and remote learning and mask wearing. The double meaning jokes here may at first show a little discrepuncy. Lick me ’till ice cream. About board games. We make videos. Your account is not active. See our TOP 10 puns. Tell your dog Akvile said hi! Well, I was definitely wrong, as the following electricity puns, completely that perception. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Near-Death Experience? But the Roman empire was split in an eastern (centered around Constantinople) and western empire (around Rome) --- so the pun works there. Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box. Reporting on what you care about. Still, there’s just so much to joke about — even the hard stuff. Share Tweet. I’m just looking. Then it hit me, I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work. No one wants the same old tired selection of funny tree puns that our dads have been using for ages. They are a hilarious play on words. From classy to sassy, these are the puns that can make anyone laugh (or roll their eyes at least). Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. From there, we were exposed to the fact that they will eat literally anything. Nothing - but it let out a little whine. A Mississippi, How do you throw a space party? I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. He goes up to podium and says "plethora". A Thesaurus. 1. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Ale of Two Cities, A Brief History Of Wine, The Last of The Mojitos.... What washes up on tiny beaches? Remains to be seen, I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. They were still arguing when the train hit them. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! It was two tyred. How do you make holy water? Tatiana Romanova: Horrible woman! There are no answers as to when this amazingly lame form of humor was born but it has kept its popularity from the dawn of ages to this day, nonetheless. Bill, What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms and no legs? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. 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And if the cops ever find out she's in my basement...I'm in biiiigggg trouble! Yes, you were hurt and embarrassed. It was a booby trap, Ain’t that the truth, boobs feel trapped in bras. 1. By January Nelson Updated October 4, 2018. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite', Why are frogs so happy? Put that eye roll away with these cute funny puns that will make you smile all day. A pun makes use of words that have more than one meaning, or words that sound similar but have different meanings, to humorous effect. A lawsuit, What is the difference between a dead dear and a dead lawyer? There’s no menu - you get what you deserve. 31. can be read as "sa-i-to" meaning site. My dogs don’t even own bikes, Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine, All chemists know that alcohol is always a solution, When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane, The furniture store keeps calling me to come back. You don't get to tell jokes this this: If you're looking for puns with some Shaquille appeal: Ask your pizza delivery guy for a joke, and he'll deliver: You have to appreciate the gravity of this situation: If you're looking for a pun to lighten to mood: This may seem sad, but stay positive. If you are on the same page then this complete collection of puns is exactly what you are looking for. Light travels faster than sound. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. After finishing her Creative Industries studies, her career took off here at our office. James Bond: No. Sure, you were butted by a goat at the zoo and knocked to the ground just last year. What do you call the wife of a hippie? 70 Electricity Puns You’ll Love to Read (Jokes & One-Liners) A good joke can really brighten your day. One can only imagine where the roots of puns are hidden. "I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank. In a few more years no smokers around to get this. No matter your profession, from biologist (hi!) The only thing better than a good pun is a really, really bad one. Best Valentine's Day jokes from bad puns to one liners If all the romance in the air that comes with Valentine's Day is getting a bit too much, then enjoy some light relief with these jokes mirror But it doesn't matter how kind you are. These bad puns are so silly and stupid you can't help but love them. Cost £180 today. For some reason, the jokes that make you roll your eyes into the back of your head are the ones you secretly find the funniest. Or maybe it all started in the Middle Ages when, by a long shot, the Trebuchet was the most powerful weapon? I remember that someone completely missed the joke. I asked him who taught him to spell. 1.9K likes. Its deer tracks. puns, fun, laughs. EDIT : sorry 3 groups of people. The world is a vast and hilarious place. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”, What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? Ireland. It caused me a lot of baggage but I must carry on. He’s all right now, The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran, My dad farted in an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels, I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any, Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? That was a real lightbulb moment, really lit me up! For now, she's just a listmaker at Bored Panda...P.S. Or perhaps it was the era of the Renaissance when people just couldn't Handel the music of Handel? To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app! The largest collection of funny puns in the world. The number one source for your puns. If you're not into puns, this one may tear you up: Going vegetarian is a missed steak. Very funny puns. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. humor, pickuplines, puns. A pun is a joke that makes a play on words. If she were a president, she would make good coffee and sweets free of charge for the whole country. California residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. 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